I turned on the TV for first time in a long while a few nights ago and of course, I switched to Bravo. I saw some women who were facing ADD, dyslexia and just life battles and turned it off. I remembered how much you fought for my child, when I didn't know how to. I was reminded of what you meant to our lives.
Reflecting on the life of a lost loved one can bring up feelings of loss, especially when that person was a bright light in your life, who is now gone too soon. One of my dearest sister friends passed away after a quietly fought battle with cancer. She was selfless, resilient and loyal.
It was another grey day in Rochester, NY when I arrived for the home going of my friend. It's something that I never thought I'd ever actually do. I never imagined a day when she would not be here. As I drove through my old hometown, I was reminded of all of the late night restaurant dinners and many adventures I had with Lynne. Before I walked into the funeral home, I was preparing myself to say goodbye. I sat in the parking lot and watched all of the people walking in, some stopping to wipe their tears before they walked in. I found may self doing the same, and attempting to be strong, while knowing that my heart was heavy with sadness. Throughout her illness, her optimism never faltered, and she never wanted anyone to worry. There was never a hint of suffering in her voice, even through the tough times.
A Life Well Lived
When we talked, we could talk for what seemed like hours. There were photo memories all around the room, and flower arrangements of all varieties in pink, her favorite color. It was great to be reminded that her life was full of joy. She was one of my greatest teachers, and my daughter's too. We shared life's ups and downs and she always gave me some of the best advice I've ever had. She was my source of encouragement and unconditional kindness.
Taking Time to Heal
During our friendship, my girlfriend lost one of her longtime friends suddenly. I'm not sure if she ever really healed from that, as she continued to run around taking care of everyone, including me. I think she spent more time doing that than taking care of herself. Her selflessness was overwhelming. I think we all deal with life's tough times differently, and much like Lynne, I tend to keep running, and pleasing everyone except myself. With this loss, I will take the time to heal.
Continuing to Find Joy in Memories
Over this last several weeks I've found myself laughing and crying in my memories at the same time. Our intimate friendship lended itself to lots of laughs and tears, and good times. Her life brought so many joy, and I am grateful that I was one of them.
I love you Lynne, and you brought me so much joy and peace... I will forever miss you.